Peregrine Mendicant
|intro = 2792 |first = 2623 |aka = Parcel Mistress, Prospitian Monarch |age = |style = Regular syntax and grammar. |planet = Prospit / Post-apocalyptic Earth |hate = Mail fraud, Bec Noir |music = }} The Peregrine Mendicant is a rag-wrapped desert wanderer who lives in the year 2422. She is an Exile, like the Wayward Vagabond. Before she was exiled, she was the Parcel Mistress. Her first appearance was in Act 2. She pushes a cart full of mailboxes. She is a devotee of mail and mail delivery, having a fervor for mail similar to WV's obsession with democracy as the mayor of Can Town. Unlike the Wayward Vagabond, she can type in an intelligent manner; she also shows a decent understanding of Time shenanigans, such as when she understands that she has to send John the message telling him to carve the tablet that she received in the past. All exiles each have multiple titles composed of two words. The first and second words of each title start with the same letter. Commands for an exile's past self begin with a question mark (?). The Peregrine Mendicant is also known as the Parcel Mistress and the Prospitian Monarch. The phrase "Peregrine Mendicant" is very similar in meaning to "Foreign Beggar". Biography As Parcel Mistress A member of the light kingdom, Parcel Mistress is sworn to delivering letters. She was first seen by Dream Jade during Act 3. She is formally introduced in Act 4 on the Land of Wind and Shade when she runs into Authority Regulator and notices he holds Jade's package to John, which she must deliver. She receives John's Minitablet carved with the Sburb server disc, which the Authority Regulator also has. She decides that it is her duty to retrieve them both, and so approaches the Authority Regulator in a diplomatic manner. The Authority Regulator finds the Parcel Mistress attractive, but mistakes her for a native of the land. She asks for the packages, but he only relinquishes the Sburb disc after she shows him the tablet. She places the disc in the Parcel Pyxis, and then decides to follow the Authority Regulator to try and get the green package back. On Derse, she finds Jack Noir holding the package. He refuses to give it to her because he is too lazy to process the paperwork. Instead, he offers her a hilariously lopsided bargain, that turns out not to be--the White King's and Queen's crowns in exchange for the package, and gives her a Regisword to complete the task. She leaves and reports this to the White Queen, who seems to know how important the package is, as she gives up her ring and crown, and orders the Parcel Mistress to go to the battlefield in Skaia to retrieve the White King's as well. The Courtyard Droll pickpockets the ring from her, but Dream Jade recovers it. Oblivious, she takes a shuttle for Skaia. On the Battlefield, she reaches the White King, who abdicates and gives her his scepter (while the Hegemonic Brute watches). The Hegemonic Brute then proceeds to punch the Parcel Mistress in the face and knock the scepter from her hands, where it falls into a riverbed. She defends herself to a lethal degree by using her Regisword to decapitate the Hegemonic Brute. She grabs his radio to arrange a meeting with Jack Noir, the Sovereign Slayer. At some point in the future, she becomes exiled to earth and becomes the Peregrine Mendicant. To differentiate her from her future self, commands given to her are preceded by "PM?" instead of "PM." As Peregrine Mendicant She found the large, spherical Helipod Base which grew from the White Tree at the location of John's meteor impact. When one of the Sentry Worms began eating one of her mailboxes, she mercilessly decapitated it with her Regisword. PM entered the pod's main hatch and found her way to a monitor and keyboard identical to the one in the Skyship Base. She stacked mailboxes to reach the keyboard and commanded the pod to fly back to its home location. The pod lifted took off and headed westward, towards the Wayward Vagabond's location on Jade's island. She accessed the computer while in flight to view a blurred vision of Jade brandishing her rifle on-screen. She recognized Jade from back when she was the Parcel Mistress, but upon trying to give her commands, the console exploded because she interrupted a conversation between Jade and Becsprite. She was not badly injured, however, and one of the other Worms rescued a mailbox that had fallen out. Upon arriving, she received John's package to Jade from WV, and with his help reached the Deappearifier in the Helipod Base to send it to the coordinates specified by Jade's direction while under fire from the Aimless Renegade. Afterwards, the confusion was cleared up, and they all became friends. WV introduced her to John, whom she also recognized from Prospit. She commanded him briefly, completing a mission she began years prior as the Parcel Mistress. They were then joined by the Windswept Questant. WV and AR created a crown for WQ, finding her attractive, but WQ gave it to PM for fulfilling her mission, making her the monarch of Exile Town. As Prospitian Monarch Her first decision was to appoint a royal advisor, namely the former White Queen. During this she also made the sun symbol the royal insignia of her kingdom. Her advisor then informs her that her role as the new queen will be bringing Jack Noir to justice, and rebuild her kingdom in a new land. Following this, her advisor is brutally murdered, along with all of her other allies, except for WV who was greviously wounded. She then swears vengeance and prototypes herself with WV's ring, transportalizing with his corpse into the troll's Incipisphere, to which Jack Noir has escaped. Jack Noir displays surprise/fear for the first time, as well as a bit of romantic feelings, while PM seems to be in a deep hate. Noir absconds immediately, and PM looks on, while Serenity pleads PM to help the dying Vagabond. Able to see the trolls and kids at the Green Sun, she uses her prototyped self as a portal to transport WV to the players, hoping they will be able to aid him. As of a dream bubble has been destroyed, very likely damaging paradox space and killing many Horrorterrors near where PM and Bec Noir were battling. They stop entirely, looking at each other with a profound sense of disbelief and powerlessness while they survey the damage. Shortly afterwards, she continues attacking the now shaken Jack, who flees into a dream bubble. He eludes her temporarily, but she catches up to him in the midst of his battle with John Egbert. She continues chasing him for the next year, until eventually they arrive in the B2 session. PM and Bec arrive on LOFAF shortly after Jade is killed. Loyal to her because of Becquerel's prototyping in their rings, Bec picks her up and they refuse to give up her body to Dave and Jane, dodging Jane's attempt to revive her with Life powers. In an attempt to distract them into dropping Jade, Jane Gcat. However, PM and Bec take Jade with them when chasing after GCat, who runs off into the forest around the volcano. Dave flies after them to return Jade's body for Jane to revive. PM and Bec fly to Jade's Quest Bed, and there battle Dave for her body. He fights for a while, but is ultimately killed by them, impaled from the front by PM and the back by Bec, resulting in a heroic death. Gallery 01949 1.gif|You do not have a sword. You are quite sure it would never occur to you to carry a sword or resort to violence under any circumstance. Pardonless Malefactor.png|Fully Prototyped, PM surveys Bec Noir. Trivia *Her initials PM, coincidentally also stand for Private Message, which has a relation to mail. (Or alternatively, Post Master) *Her ascension to queen-hood may represent how a pawn in chess may be promoted to another piece (usually a queen). * Just before she puts on the mailman's cap, she finds a letter addressed to Dr. David Brinner. The novella (later adapted into a movie) "The Postman," which has as its central character a post-apocalyptic survivor who finds a mailbag and a postal uniform and decides to deliver the mail, was written by David Brin, who does in fact have a Ph.D. * PM is depicted on the "Five of Pentacles" card of the Homestuck Tarot Deck. She is also the "Page of Pentacles" , perhaps because the card translates as someone who is hands on and hard working like PM herself. Category:Homestuck Protagonists/Allies Category:Carapacians